A Perfect Moment in Time

Sometimes no words are needed to describe a perfect moment in time.

Music, Smiles, and Maybe a Few Tears

This past week has at the same time flown by and crawled by. I don't know where all the days went, but at the same time some moments seem to just last forever. I worked two days last week and it was probably good for me to get out of the house. On Thursday I used the day to get ready to go to Grundy. I did manage to take Nate to his swim class (I guess I need a seperate post about swim class) and get some things cleaned up for the weekend.

On Friday Mom, Dad, Amy, Nate, and I left for Grundy. For some reason my sinus infection decided to come back full force on Thursday and I felt awful all of Thursday night and Friday. I dozed off and on in the car on Friday, due to Amy driving. We got to Tazwell in the late afternoon and while Dad took care of some business at the nursing home that Grandpa was in for 12 hours, us girls and Nate hit up Magic Mart. Going to Magic Mart was always a part of visiting Grundy. As kids we got to go and pick out a toy. Nate had fun picking out Diego matchbox cars and a purple unicorn Pillow Pet.

We got to our hotel around 5 and settled in while Amy and Dad ran to the funeral home for the death certificate which actually wasn't even ready yet. Seems like most errands and tasks that were supposed to be simple this weekend always ended up being complicated. We went out to dinner at Long John Silver's because that was a place we used to always go with Grandpa.

Saturday morning we woke up and enjoyed a nice breakfast at the hotel then headed out to another Magic Mart. They had an Elmo Car and Nate managed to get a couple of rides in.

My sister's college friend Eric met us at Magic Mart and spent the entire day with us. It was nice to have an outside of the family face around. He quickly became Nate's friend and they bonded over some Salt N Vinegar pringles. We attempted to go to the park that Grandpa used to take us to, but the gate was locked. So we took a picture in front of the gate. Kind of a bummer.

We eventually got lunch and headed back to the hotel to coax Nate into taking a nap. It took a long time to get him to sleep because he hadn't actually burned off much energy that morning. We all got dressed up and headed to the funeral home. The viewing actually started at 5pm, but we got there a little after 4. I changed Nate in the bathroom because I had yanked him out of bed to leave. He was so quiet and subdued, he sat on a couch for a few minutes just looking around. I think he knew we were there for something serious. We were at the funeral home for 5 hours and not once did I have to put him in time out or really correct his behavior at all. I think God had a special hand on his shoulder that night.

So from 5-7 people came to visit and pay their respects. I didn't know most of the people there other than Grandpa's siblings and a couple of other relatives and one of his close friends. I got to meet a couple of people I had heard about, but other than that there was a really weird vibe to the visitation. It's weird to be on the side of the people who had to plan and execute everything when there are other people on the other side acting like they were his immediate family.

The service was at 7 and are family ran the show. Amy planned the service, Dad gave the eulogy, and I read scripture. A local preacher gave his talk of hellfire and damnation and one of Grandpa's siblings did the same. The best part of the evening was the bluegrass music. It was the one thing that was truly Grandpa and gave the service an upbeat, slightly disorganized feel. It reminded of the man himself.

After the funeral we went back to my Great aunt's house for some dinner. It was so special to just walk into her home and have the food all laid out and to just be invited to eat and talk. It's what I imagine people doing at times like those, but because of where we live, nobody really does that for you. I love my good ole country family!

We buried Grandpa at Quantico on Monday. I knew almost everyone there and it felt much more like family even if some of the people aren't related to us. It was a very short service, but by far the most final and heart wrenching. My dad is a strong amazing man and when he shed tears, so did everyone else there. I hope he knows how much everyone admires him and respects him and was able to see that through the support he got on Monday.

The service at Quantico didn't involve an actual burial. We saw where Grandpa was going to be buried and last night we sat down and picked out his headstone. Grandpa's birthday is in less than 2 weeks. We've already discussed getting flowers and visiting his grave. I still feel like this isn't completely real. I think when the holidays roll around and when I go to fill out cards to send and I no longer include him that it will start to feel real. He wasn't an everyday part of our lives, but at some point I think the loss of a beloved family member will be more apparent. Right now we are still just trying to get back to normal. I'm so thankful for my family and for God's everlasting promise, it all has given me so much peace in all of this.

The Beginning of Saying Goodbye

I firmly believe that it is God's love that is giving me so much peace in regards to my Grandpa's death. I'm not hysterical, I'm not crying all day, I don't have thoughts of "what if?", I don't feel any guilt and I'm functioning at almost a normal level. I would simply equate any malfunctioning to lack of sleep and having a high spirited 2 year old.

This is the first time that I've experienced death as an adult. I lost my great-grandma when I was around 7, but I really didn't have a concept of what that meant and my parents didn't involve us in the funeral. Nate is going to be completely involved with the funeral and burial activities. I will probably be toddler wearing him at the graveside burial. To me it is important that he is a part of it. It's also a necessity since all of our family will be there. I also think that part of my attachment parenting philosophy is that my child is 100% a part of our family. He's not going to go to a sitter just to make it easier for me.

I also want to involve Nate because his great-grandpa really loved him. Nate already has a love for music and I'm hoping he will be just as talented as Grandpa. He already holds his kid size guitar like a stand up bass sometimes. I wish he could have spent more time with him. They got together 4 times in Nate's short life; for a visit at Amy's temporary home in Christiansburg, for Nate's 1st birthday party, for Grandpa's 80th birthday party, and for last July 4th. I know Nate probably won't have memories of his great-Grandpa, but there are pictures and we can always pop in a Country gentleman cd.

Amy is helping to clean out Grandpa's living space. She texted me that Grandpa had kept every card and picture that I had sent him. It fills my heart that a man of few words and most likely few possessions cherished all of those little notes. I'm sad that I can't be there to help, but I do believe that God had special timing for all of this. Amy got home for spring break on Thursday night. Dad made it to see Grandpa on Saturday before he passed away. Amy was also halfway to where dad was and was able to continue on to see him on Sunday. I know that I'm a bigger help up here supporting my mom, helping get the house straight, communicating things to our pastor, and still taking care of Nate.

Grandpa's funeral is scheduled for Saturday night. We will head down to Grundy on Friday. Then there will most likely be a graveside burial in Northern VA on Monday. It's going to be a long, emotional, and tiring weekend. There are places in Grundy that hold special memories for us; Magic Mart, a park we would visit, my great-aunts house. I hope to find time to visit those places. I feel like that's a way that I can honor Grandpa.

I love Grandpa and I will miss him. I am so thankful to have gotten to know him, no matter how odd our relationship was at times. I'm so grateful that Nate got to spend some time with him. He was a truly talented and loving man who is probably playing music in heaven now.